My drama of the day. No, let me rephrase that. My drama of the semester: these stupid talking crosswalks. Crosswalks should not be talking to me nor telling me to wait for 30 seconds to walk a simple 20 feet when there are no cars around.

Do you wonder why everyone jaywalks at OU? It’s rebellion– it’s the essential ingredient of college counterculture, people! I’ve heard more back-talk to the inanimate crosswalk voice than I’ve heard to my mother, the preschool teacher. It has reaffirmed my belief that sailor-swearing is not just limited to the coasts.

Oh, and to add to that, each and every crosswalk button has this cool feature that if you press the button twice, it tells you which direction you’re facing! Next time I’m lost in the jungle that is OU noon student traffic, now I know I’ll be able to find my way!

Story-time: Picture it– Lindsey and the South Oval. 11 at night. Just you and the cross-talker. The nearest car is down by the stadium. Of course there’s no po-po around. Do you chance it and walk the aforementioned 20 feet?

This sounds oddly like the “it’s a red light at midnight and there’s no one around, do you go anyway?” story, doesn’t it. But what compounds our frustrating situation is when there is no one else around, there is no conversation. Hearing “Wait … wait … wait … wait … walk sign is on” times 10 would make anyone want to say something along the lines of, “Thank you, crosswalk, I can clearly see that the walk sign is on. You are so generous! I wish there were more helpful people in the world like you!” Add some swear words to that, and presto!, the makings of a friendship that will last a lifetime.

Well, at least four years. That is before the city of Norman wises up and either a) puts a muzzle on every single barking crosswalk that is telling me to wait for about a minute at a time, or b) realize the proportion of students waiting to cross the street is pretty Me much always equal to the amount of traffic barreling through and having to wait for jaywalkers who judge the timing wrong. And do something about it. That’d probably be the most productive, and relevant, action I’ve seen any city council make.

That and smoothing down all these uneven streets so the broken passenger window on my car doesn’t decide to fall off permanently the next time I go down the street to the gas station.